The following is not an exhaustive list of the traits of a narcissist. This is a simplified explanation of certain signs that will help you to identify if you are involved with a narcissist.
1. The most tell tale sign of a narcissist is that they do not have the capacity to empathize. In other words, someone with empathy can feel what you are feeling and understand. They can “feel your pain” and they care. On the other hand a narcissist cannot feel your pain.
2. They have an overriding need to be the center of attention. They must be appreciated and if you do not appreciate them the way they think you should they will take their anger out on you.
3. A narcissist, when faced with anything like an insult, will withdraw. They will not talk about the problem they will isolate themselves.
4. They have a need to be thought of as special and want you to prove that to them that they are special all the time. Anything less is a betrayal and you will pay for that.
5. They are perfectionists and want you to be perfect too. Because if you are not perfect it reflects on their image. They don’t care about you, they only care that the image you project mirrors how they see themselves.
6. They can often fly off into rages if their needs are not met to their specified idea of what they deserve.
7. They are dependent on praise from others.
8. They are emotionally unavailable.
9. They may choose you as a partner only because you have qualities that they don’t have and they seek to possess them by possessing you.
10. They draw partners to them who are fearful of abandonment.
11. They may distort the good intentions of their partner.
12. Narcissists tend to be arrogant and vane. They have an unreasonable need to achieve.
13. They can never put your needs above theirs.
14. They will not be able to enjoy your successes. They are envious if something good happens to you.
15. They often choose a partner with low self-esteem. This gives them a sense of superiority. They will seek to keep you down in order to prop themselves up.
16. They love themselves so much that they can never love you.
17. They blame others for any failures they may have.
18. They can appear confident and charming and are often very attractive.
19. They are often high achievers. Achieving only for their own self-aggrandizement.
20. If you challenge them in a relationship or try to get them to care about your needs they will cheat on you without a thought.
Number 20 can be the most devastating part of being involved in a narcissistic relationship. You love them and they don’t care. You have given them your all and they can and will turn on you and start a relationship with someone else. They are incapable of caring about how that affects you. You find out the person you thought loved you was never capable of loving you in the first place. It’s a nightmare.