Surviving The Break Up Of A Narcissistic Relationship

3D Survival Guide Crossword

In order to survive the break up of a narcissistic relationship you need to be prepared with the hard cold truth of what is going on.   Your partner is incapable of caring about you or this relationship.  That is so hard to understand.  That you’ve been with someone and loved this person and it is impossible for them to love you, even though they may have been able to fool you into thinking they did love you.   In this case, it really isn’t “you” it really is “them.”

When you have come to the end of a narcissistic relationship it will be very painful and confusing.   That statement is harsh but it is true and you must be prepared for some of the things that your narcissistic partner will do.  But, you can survive this and you will love again.

You would think you would be glad to be free of this relationship.  But you have been so emotionally abused that you can’t get him or her out of your mind.

You may be feeling so cheated in this relationship because your partner has acted as if your relationship never existed.   For a normal person that is impossible to grasp.

Sometimes the narcissist can sense when you have come to the end of your rope in this relationship.  So they often make their own plans to leave long before you have even expressed the desire to end the relationship.  Maybe even before you even know you want to end the relationship.

They will get the jump on you and they may hide assets, run up bills and leave you holding the bag for the house, the car, the bank account…they won’t even care if there are children involved.

It is almost certain your partner will set up another relationship, probably even before he/she leaves, and won’t care one bit about how much you are hurting.

Find Out What You Can Do To Protect Yourself When Breaking Up With A Narcissist

8 Responses to Surviving The Break Up Of A Narcissistic Relationship

  1. brandi says:

    I have been with one for 4 years now. … I cant believe I have wasted so much of my youth on this man. He pulled me in with fairytale nonsense, and after I fall for him, his tru self becomes clear. When he rages, hes also physically abusive. Broken my finger, dragged by my hair, choked until blue….and all because I was trying to defend myself against his insane and confusing accusations. He argues circles around me and makes no sense and goes completely off topic, and whn I ask him to explain what hes talking about, he gets furious and tells me im stupid and not worth explaining to again. Im an intelligent woman, not stupid by any means, but it doesnt stop him from telling me I am. Ive threatened to leave him based on that alone… and he literally had the nerve to say that if I werent being stupid he wouldnt say it. I deserve it. In 4 yrs ive never heard him apoligize once. Ever. This past valentines day, he didnt come home…instead stayed at a friends and worked on his car (so he said) and I was naturally upset..especially since I took the effort to hand dip his favorite fruit on chocolate and set up the house awaiting his return home. When he finally came home that night I was crying and upset, and he staryed yelling at me and told me I was a selfish human being and only thought of myself. He blames me for everything bad in his life, and when im happy he works very hard and says very cruel things to bring me down. Ive also had the unsettling feeling that hes been cheating on me the entire relationship. .but I cant prove it. He says that hes never cheated and wont ever. Thinks its disgusting and he says that he works hard for his reputation and wouldnt mess it up for a lay…bit on the contrary, hes a very sexual person, and when we fight he vanishes, he comes home late from work always, ignores my calls n texts and claims to be busy, but is on fb all day long, and he will treat me so horribly… and be so odd and…defensive. he tells me im this horrible person, and noone else would want me if they knew me..and I have done nothing but try and make this man happy. Ive done everything hes asked, from no family no friends, im not allowed to leave the house when hes at work and im not. I have 2 jobs and do all cooking, cleaning, and overall house work. He says he shouldnt have to because he has a real job. But when he goes on a rager, he tells me how worthless I am and how I do nothing and hes tired of having to do everything at home and work. Which is Insane! He does nothing at all but tries to convince me of otherwise. And if I dare argue, hell put his hand over my face and scream at me amd tell me I WILL shut my effin c*ck suckers until hes finished speaking. If I struggle or try n pull his hand off my face, he will pick me up by my throat until im hysterical. He is extremely heartless. Cold. Only listens to me speak when its directly about him or his interest. Otherwise he acts as if I dont exsist. Im just now learrning of this disease.ive wasted so much of my time on a man because I literally convinced myself that it was me. He convinced me that I had a personality disorder. I thouggt I was losing my mind and sanity and couldnt unserstand why. Ive always been so fun and adventerous and curious and social..alot of friends always had a full schedule …and now..I do nothing, see noone, go nowhere…and he treats me horribly. He has killed me inside. Literally destroyed who I once was. I only pray that when I can finally leave him, I will be able to trust and love again. Its honestly life changing and mind altering to be with theae people. They are like parasites. Feeding off of your life force and joy. God bless anyone elae dealing with this horrible lifestyle. I hope u all escape it cleanly, and unharmed and I hope you all find REAL love with a real man or woman. We deserve it. We do. Believe and know that. I do. I have to. Good luck..

  2. Jessica Byrne says:

    You must have some family or friends you can go to. If not, go to a battered women’s shelter ASAP and get them
    to help you.

    You must take the dog with you even if you have to surrender it to a shelter.

    Is the house yours?

  3. Tricia says:

    I’ve been trying to get out of a relationship with a N for 10 years. Before I realized his evilness, he had it set up – no money, no friends. “Don’t talk to them” or rage if I did. And every attempt at money? Lied to with “no gas for you to get there today, 1st day of work”, or switched the plug wires in the car so it stalled at idle. Then, yells at me “why don’t you work?” I give him examples of how he sabataged and hear “YOU have all the answers” (dismissed. 15 yrs of my life is gone. I’m 55 yrs old. How do I salvage it now? Now comes the depression. Here’s the rules- happy? he rages. If he doesn’t break me, he threatens to throw me out. Sad? Ignored. If I start a sentence- he starts one by my third word, or calls for the dog, or yells at a passing car. Rationalize with him? He turns it around on me, then calls me spinmaster. If I reiterate his own words back to him, “you said (this)”, I hear “Keep it up, I’ll show you!” Today he told me he was going to burn the house down so I have no place to live. He refuses insurance. So, if I do something, he rages to block me… then yells at me for not doing it… then threatens me when I say “you stop me from doing things, then yell at me for not doing things”. If this is the rest of my life? I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t. No place to go and no way to get there… and he set it up that way.

  4. Jessica Byrne says:

    It is exhausting trying to be “good enough.” You are MORE than good enough and deep down inside you know that. You have
    to understand that they don’t even really “see” you. And, it’s not personal, it is just survival for them. Yes, I’ve been
    there. I jumped through those hoops for 15 years with a narcissist until I was so exhausted I just didn’t give a damn about
    him anymore. That was my breaking point. When I reached that level I was able to step back and really take a look at him
    and see him for what he was. I don’t hate him. I just don’t care about him at all. But, I now understand that he was a
    narcissist that I let into my heart and life while I was ignorant and if I had known about this type of personality I would never
    have made that choice.

  5. Jessica Byrne says:

    You will learn to trust again. The narcissist hates to think you might be talking to someone else who will see him for what he is
    and take you away. That’s why they can sometimes do devious things like tracking you. They need to control you because they see you as
    someone they have fooled. They really do need you, but not in a way that is healthy.

    Once a narcissist has his or her “hooks” in you it is very hard to get those hooks out. And, when you start
    to pull them out it hurts like heck! The good news is that once you get some distance the healthy you will start to heal.

  6. Wendy says:

    After 20 years, Iv’e discovered what was wrong with my relationship. Years of being ignored, unheard, devalued & cheated on, there’s a name for his insidious abuse. My life changed irreversibly as I started to unravel a shocking & complex web of deceit, including cheating & stealing large sums of money. Well versed in the art of manipulation, I knew my relationship wasn’t right, but I just couldn’t put the pieces together. Naively thinking calling someone a narcissist was just a derogatory term rather than an actual illness, I’ve spent the past 2 decades struggling with the way he treats me, always feeling a state of confusion, that if he loved me as much as I loved him, surely he would one day see my point of view, see what’s important to me, respect what matters to me. My Narcissist was extremely controlling, to the point he had installed tracking devices on my phone to monitor my whereabouts, & had installed software to read my every email, see every keystroke on my computer, every website I viewed. Hunted, violated, stalked? Yeah just a little bit. I’m surviving, it’s early days, but Ive got a really good set of friends who will help me rebuild my life, & I hope, one day I will learn to trust again.

  7. Carrie says:

    Thank you for this article! I have been involved with narcissistic partner for 3 years now and am still dealing with the after-effects of the break-up which has been a nightmare. I can so relate to this article. The person I was with did NOT care about me and my needs and my feelings. If I brought them up, they were dismissed as not important. It was literally crazy-making for me and I could never be “good enough”. There was always another hoop I had to jump through for the partnership to be ok. Thank you for this article and the hope that I can love again someday.

  8. MarieEleana Piccirillo says:

    I can not believe, how this article has touched me. It is exactly what I was and I am experiencing, at this very moment. My hurt is so deep, but I am equally filled with anger. An anger that is more towards myself, because I feel as if, I should have known better. I should have listened to all those around me. Those who really love me and gotten out years ago. I feel as if, I throw away the best years of my life on a man, whom, is incapable of loving. A man who doesn’t view women as anything, except objects.

    Thank you, so much for this insightful piece of information.

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